In case for some reason you’re an idiot and decided to read this before you’ve caught up on this season of Game Of Thrones, I will tell you that this post contains spoilers and you should quickly close your browser before you get spoiled. Also, I’m sorry for calling you an idiot. That was uncalled for.
Let’s all come to an agreement here. Euron is an asshole, and as a person you should not like him. We’re all rooting for Dany (and her 1,937 titles) and Jon (the, uh, King of the North), hopefully for them to make brooding dragon babies to rule us all. Oleena is truly the Queen of Thorns and burned Jamie so much that I’m shocked his hand didn’t melt. And for some reason the show still gives a fuck about “Hey Sis, you looked really pretty that night you were raped!” Bran. I guess we’re rooting for him.
Here’s the thing with me. I didn’t like Euron when he came in and killed his brother and took the thorny crown or whatever. I was furious in the last episode (Stormborn) when he attacked and interrupted what could have been a rockin’ sex scene between Yara and Ellaria.
Then the mother fucker comes swashbuckling on to Yara’s ship, slicing bitches left and right, all the while channeling a sadistic Jack Sparrow. He captures Yara, causing Theon (who has to be the most unlikable ‘good guy’ in the series) to nope right overboard.
Then, in ‘Queen’s Justice’, this dude comes swaggering into King’s Landing, playing to the crowd like he’s Donald freaking Trump, dragging behind him Yara, Ellaria Sand, and Tyene Sand and commenting on how all the applause he’s getting is making him hard.
He rides into the Red Keep, on horseback still, smirks and swaggers his way to Cersi, and basically tells her “Hey, I brought you some people you want to kill. Let’s fuck.”
THEN when all is said and done, he asks Jamie if Cersi likes having a finger in her bum.
He might not be long for the world, half expect him to be gobbled up by one of the dragons in the next couple of episodes, but holy crap, what a pimp. It’s not in my nature to root for a bad guy, but I love Euron’s style. Major props to Pilou Asbæk for playing him so damned perfectly.