An Ode to Matt Gallagher

I don’t have much time here, as I have to go to work, so here goes.

He wakes up early, his hair a mess
To spend his day, making OTS
Like the tazer gun is to a cop
Matt’s weapon of choice is the Photoshop.

He likes scroungy mutts with their sunglasses on
Though cats are cooler, much like Grey Poupon
I don’t know for a fact, but his loins are likely white and tighty
That’s right I mentioned his underpants; take that society.

He turned a hot babe in to Zach Galifianakis
The image made me want to give my monitor one big ass crackus
Regardless of that, I respect him fully
As Matt would say before kicking your ass, ‘Bully, Bully, Bully’.

He has his own day at some local bar
If you want to show your respects, you need not travel far
I’m sure both zombie Roosevelt and Tesla are currently on their way
To gnaw on your brains while singing ‘Happy Birthday’.


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