Money!
For what it’s worth, I didn’t buy any Powerball tickets last night. Usually when the jackpot gets to such silly levels I do, because meh. If I lose, I’m out a few dollars. In the very unlikely chance I win… Well, holy shit. What an awesome investment, right?
Regardless, as a kind of sport, I like to kind of ponder in my head what I would do with all that money.
I heard the Henry Ford quote, “Money doesn’t change men, it merely unmasks them.” I realized how true that would be if I found myself suddenly with the ability to live (essentially) in a consequence free world.
Some people say having that kind of money wouldn’t change them. Those people are lying not only to their friends, but to themselves. Getting 300+ million dollars over night cannot not change you, or at least, change your behavior.
For instance, I plan on going to work in the morning, mostly because if I don’t, I know I will get fired.
If I had $500m in the bank, do you think I’d care about getting fired for no-call no-showing?
Not even slightly.
I can’t move because that would break my lease and harm my credit. Do you think if I could pay for things with giant wads of $1000 bills I would give two shits about my credit?
Hell no! Within a week I would be living in a condo in Los Angeles.
Personally, I’m one of those people who would take care of my friends and family.
I’d make my TV show, spend time writing, lounge around and try to stay out of trouble. Send a ton of money to charities I care about like the Humane Society, the American Cancer Society and Cystic Fibrosis and Alzheimer’s research groups.
I’d of course use my massive monetary dick to be able to hob nob with the My Little Pony voice actors, go on a whirlwind tour of several anime studios in Japan and just to be an obnoxious ass, buy the home I grew up in and declare it a historical site.
To be quite honest, a lot of what I would do would qualify me as an obnoxious ass. As Mr. Ford said. Money doesn’t change you. It simply reveals you.
And I, given the means and the freedom, am quite the obnoxious ass.
But if I had $300,000,000, I doubt anyone would care.
