3 Things That Should No Longer Exist

Last time I checked, it was the future. You can order both pizzas and prostitutes from a mini computer that also acts as a phone. Cars can drive themselves, bionic body parts give paralyzed people the ability to walk again, and we can destroy any country with a fleet of aircraft flown from someone’s basement in Nevada.

Yet despite all of the technical advances in the world, there are still some things that are, well, things. And I cannot even slightly understand why.

1 – Allow 7-10 days to be removed from email list!

Seriously, what the fuck is this shit. If you subscribe to an email list, you are added instantly and will have your mailbox flooded within minutes. Meanwhile when you click unsubscribe, apparently they must have the Pope come down and do some kind of email address exorcism as they need a whole week or more to get you purged from the 1,000 emails they have you signed up for.

I admit that I am no computer scientist, but I find it a little ridiculous that you can be instantly added to all these lists, but purging your name is something that apparently must be done by hand and in a very delicate manner.

2 – Higher Prices For Using Credit/Debit Card!

Any business that does this, fuck you.

I am well aware that Mastercard/Visa/AMEX all make money by charging the businesses transaction fees. It’s like 1% of the total I think. However I think that’s a poor argument for charging a surcharge (often times well over whatever transaction fee the business is charged). Many, many people use only their debit cards these days. If anything you should be charging a surcharge for using cash. Using cash puts your business at risk of being robbed. It requires you to (probably) hire an armored car service to come and get the cash and take it to the bank, and you run the risk of getting counterfeit money.

It was nice in Oklahoma as charging a surcharge for using a debit/credit card was illegal. Never heard any businesses going under as a result of having to either eat that charge or raise their prices by a penny per dollar to cover it. Meanwhile here in Washington, I’m stuck paying 10 cents more a gallon on gas than the meth dealer who operates only with cash.

End this crap.

3 – Online Bill Pay Fees

Any business that does this, fuck you.

Yes two of these things are about having to pay more for mundane transactions. I do not understand, and I doubt anyone would be able to convince me, why it costs extra to pay a bill online or through an automated phone service.

For example when I lived in Oklahoma, AEP, the power company in Tulsa, charged an extra $2.95 to make a payment over the phone through BillMatrix. This despite having and needing no humans to help with the transaction, like they would if I spoke to a human on the phone or sent them a check. I basically pay an extra $11 a month for my car loan to pay through the website. Again, no humans except me are involved in the transaction, but I am still charged this surplus.

It’s almost as if these businesses do not want you to pay in a way that instantly sends your money to them and would prefer that you send a check that a human has to cash in an envelope that someone has to open.

Much like with credit card fees, this cost should be built into the cost of the product so that those of us who have joined the 21st century willingly are not charged more than the gold hoarder who refuses to trust a bank and keeps all his cash in a shoe box.

Join me next week as I complain about the weather!

%d bloggers like this: